I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My penis needs a shock collar
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize