So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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