It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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