please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
