i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
