Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
