Please, let me fuck your mom
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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