try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
