Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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