Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
