It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
