What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
