If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
