do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
