In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
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On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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