I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
