You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
