I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
