Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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