are you so shy because you have an std?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
