Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
