Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
