whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
