do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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