I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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