this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
