Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
