Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
