He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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