I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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