a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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