you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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