Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
