all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
