im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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