Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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