hotel room ftw
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
