The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The Olympian is in my bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize