Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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