wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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