Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
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