I'm really into asian looking animals
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
