Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
