Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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