the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
