we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
nutella sex= disaster
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize