Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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