I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
