Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize