it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
