so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Alive.
So much puke
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
