I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
