We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
