Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
