she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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