3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
