I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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