covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
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i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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