yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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