worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
