You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
ttyl tear gas
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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