Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
