Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
